Kinky Are You Not?
My name in Conan Obrien and this is my story. Once upon a time, I was drinking Kool aid, eating Cheetos, and watching my favorite anime-"The BEE Movie." I was just about finished fapping to the film for the 69th time today until suddenly the TV began to get all fuzzy. Before I had the time to question what was happening, the voice of Gordon Ramsey began to break through static. "Come...closer," he said, even though I couldn't even see him I decided to move closer to the TV, because who wouldn't want to obey the voice of god. "closer..." I moved closer. "CLOSER!..." I was so close to the television screen that my face was literally pushed against the glass. Suddenly, Gordon's face came in like a wrecking ball and broke through the screen, with a mighty Gordon roar. "Gordon Ramsey! The last time I saw you, you were fighting SATAN on Hell's Kitchen! What are you doing here!" "You see my child, ever since the incident, I have went into hiding for 0.10239024202012 years, believing no one would find me ever again, but..." I waited in great anticipation for what he was going to say next."... SATAN found me! and he's on his way!" I was so spooped of SATAN'S arrival that my hot jizz shot out all over Daddy Ramsey's face in sheer horror. After the hyper realistic cum absorbed itself into Gordons beautiful face, he screamed, "YOU IDIOT, DO YOU REALISED WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!?!" I shot sperm all over your face in sheer terror?" I said. " Yes, that is true, but more importantly, YOU HAVE LED SATAN RIGHT TO YOUR DOOR STEP!" I gasped, "What? But how?" Gordon continued to scream in rage-"HOW? BECAUSE NEW BORN CHILDEN ARE SATAN'S FAVORITE MEAL!" "What do you-" I stopped and suddenly noticed Gordon's head growing exponentially. I'm not going to lie, it was pretty hot. At the very moment it seemed his head was going to explode he screamed "I SHALL RETUR-" Before he could finished, his head blew up, only to reveal a newborn Gordon baby right where his brain should be. Then, suddenly, SATAN broke through the ground and looked in my face, laughing in sheer delight. He looked like an overcooked steak with a dark red aura shining over his "body". He started talking "MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THANKS FOR THE FREE LUNCH BOY!!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" "Not on my watch!" I told him as grabbed the steak, wrapped it around my penis, and began masturbating furiously with it. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" he cried as I was about to release my second load. "Using you as a flesh light numb nuts!" I proclaimed boldly. After I released my baby batter into the meaty flaps, SATAN began to cry out "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" As soon as I was done having my way with him, he too began to grow exponentially. "YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF M-" before he could finish, he exploded into a million pieces, revealing what looked to be a junior steak from the Out House on the ground crying. After realizing I was now the dad of a baby Ramsey and a baby SATAN, I raised them as my own until they were old enough to take care of themselves. We did everything together. We all fapped to Shrek, SpongeBob, Norm of the North, and Lazy Town! Life was too good! It wasn't till their 12th birthday when they were put into foster care after my neighbors realized I was a terrible father. I was later sentenced and thrown into jail because of masturbating addiction. Once I got into jail at age 69, I was thrown into a prison cell with a big black man called Bubba. He said "WHAT'S YOU IN FOR?" "I'm in to a lot kinky stuff" "REALLY? THEN HOW'BOUT YOU SHOW ME HOW IT'S DONE?" "Really? but why" He leaned up to my face and said with a big grin "KINKY, ARE YOU NOT?"